It's Me, Bear-Bear

It has occurred to me Bear-Bear that some of the more basic hoomans may not understand the way that I Bear-Bear speak. I have many names for the members of my household, so it could be confusing for an Outsider. Considering that I Bear-Bear am basically internet famous, I figured I should create this key to clear things up. I have translated names and phrases from my superior dialect into Normie Speak. Thank me later. La Nora/La Senora/Mrs. Bradley's Mom/Spiciest Lady- Sherry Wight El Nor/El Senor/Mr. Bradley's Father/My Competition- Adam Wight Uncle/Uncle my Hunkle/Uncle Eye-Sack- Isaac Wight Bradley/Brad/Ex-Father/Braden- Brady Wight Abigail- Abigail Wight I Bear-Bear- Me Bear-Bear My Nemesis/My Enemy/The Hated One/Wannabe- Blob My Ex-Wife/Mother of Cheesy- Little Ann My Angel/My Beloved/My Darling/My Sweetheart/The Precious One- Cheesy (my dot-her) Dot-her- Daughter Soon- Son Fat-her- Father Moth-her/Mootar- Mother Hoomans- Humans I loaf you- I ...

Uncle! Today my hunky, wonderful, loafly, divine Uncle Eye-Sack turns eleven years old!! He is a very elderly man now. Good job growing, Uncle. Thank you for always sniffing my bota when I ask you to and for letting me Bear-Bear stroke your face with my foot. I loaf you! Love, Me Bear-Bear (Your best, favorite, most amazing and attractive nephew) two spicy boys

three little hot dogs all in a row their names are becky, smith, and joe one of the hot dogs ran away to cry the other two sat there and waved goodbye the one running hot dog rolled off the ledge her two friends gasped as she went off the edge smith and joe watched as becky rolled out of sight they wished they could aid becky in her plight becky lay quietly and gathered some dust down on the ground it smelled like earth and must joe and smith began to grow hot as becky lay on the ground, starting to rot joe and smith were sweating in the uncomfortable heat just two little friends, yummy bits of meat they sizzled and popped as their skin turned all red they sat there together in their very warm bed becky watched in silence as an ant crawled up her body she sniffled and she cried and her face felt all snotty but nobody noticed becky there on the floor becky sat in silence; couldn't talk, peep, or roar smith and joe finished their time on the grill becoming a...

I Bear-Bear have a very troublesome issue that must be addressed immediately. On the evening of December the 29th, 2018, I Bear-Bear issued a warning to a certain magenta-shaded, shapeless, dopey-voiced, wannabe, boring, stupid, deeply unattractive bear. (Blob) I warned Blob that he was encroaching upon my sacred territory and that if he did not vacate my niche posthaste, I Bear-Bear would be forced to resort to unethical means in order to rid myself of him. Unfortunately (for Blob lol destroying him was my pleasure), he did not heed my warning. On the evening of January 5th, 2019, Blob was decimated. Destroyed. Annihilated. Obliterated. Exterminated. Liquidated. Eradicated. Eliminated. Extirpated. Crushed. Squashed. Baked. Fried. Sizzled. Kaput. Kablooied. Thanosed. And although I Bear-Bear watched as he turned to dust beneath my intimidating form, there are some who doubt me. I am beginning to believe that they are right. This morning, I Bear-Bear received an anonymous em...

oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes...

Dearest Subjects, This past week, I Bear-Bear went through a traumatic experience. I was just chillin' one day with my homies (jk lol I Bear-Bear have no homies nopony is worthy of all this) when suddenly... I Bear-Bear was taken. I was shoved into a deep, entirely black abyss, perhaps even as dark as my ebon-hued ojos. I lay curled there for a while, marinating in my own terror like an obese slab of chicken teriyaki in soy sauce. Finally, though, I Bear-bear broke through the surface of the abyss, emerging wet (do not ask) and screaming like a baby from its mother's womb (there was no placenta, though). I entirely expected to find myself in a disgusting wet rag of a place. But I was entirely surprised. I awoke on an island that seemed to have been sculpted for me Bear-Bear. Imagine it. Chickens, everywhere, ready for the eating. Ladies on beaches, laughing and frolicking in the waves. A ramshackle shop run by my own Uncle, containing delectable shave ice just for m...

Hoy es a very special day! ES EL CUMPLEANOS DE NOR!! Nor is my mejor amigo. We are thicker than my biceps (very thick), closer than my lips to those of a lady I admire (again, very close), and tighter than Abigail's bota clenches while she rides the Space Mountain at Disney World (do I Bear-Bear even need to specify the tightness of that particular item?). Anyways, the point is today is a day to be celebrating. El Nor es muy especial. Happy day of emergence, Nor! xoxo, Bear-Bear Your bestie Ya pal Tu amigo Yo home-dog Y'all's buddy