It's Me, Bear-Bear

Brady’s mom has got it going on Brady’s mom has got it going on  Brady’s mom has got it going on Brady’s mom has got it going on Brady, I'm glad to see you back from school (Back from school) Because you see, I need info from you (Info from you)  Is your mom back from her shopping trip? (Shopping trip) Or is she hanging out, at her mother ship? (Mother ship)  You know I’m not the silly bear that I used to be  I’m way more mature now Brady, can you not see? Brady’s mom has got it going on She is super hot And I think she is the bomb Brady, can you not see? She is just so smexy I know it might be wrong but  I am in love with Brady’s mom Brady’s mom has got it going on  Brady’s mom has got it going on Brady, do you recall when I took my tie off? (Took it off) Your mama screamed and I knew she was shocked (She was shocked) I could tell she liked me from the way she stared (The way she stared) And ...

You know what I Bear-Bear think? I Bear-Bear think that we as a society don't have enough appreciation for belated things. When we hear that something will happen after the set starting time, we become upset because the thing no longer fits our specific schedes. But I think it's absolutely LITTY to have something happen late! It gives you way more time to focus on the moment- the sparkly dark eyes of the oso before you, the softness of his glossy fur, the natural inflections and cadences of his deep, attractive voice... I hope that my belated post sets a new trend for doing everything late. So that is why I Bear-Bear have chosen to make this post late: in order to let La Nora focus on her special day before being swept away by the excitement of having a blog post made by me- Bear-Bear- in her honor. I have full comprehension of how incredible I am and how all-encompassing the hype of being recognized by me Bear-Bear must be. So it's actually really polite that I Bear-Be...

Hola Illernets,  I Bear-Bear was recently rereading some of my old blog posts (you should too in my unbiased opinion they're pretty lit not gonna lie I am a spectacular author words flow from my rough paws like El Nor's "McDonald's drink" to his seat) and I realized that a certain party left a rather thoughtless comment.  "Did you look in a mirror again, Bear-Bear?" I Bear-Bear stared at the comment for an eon and a half, my black ojos unblinking. A groundbreaking event that has never happened before took place- I found myself unable to comprehend the meaning of the comment. Did... did El Nor really believe that I Bear-Bear had been describing myself in that blog post?  I was very clear in my description of the creature, but mayhaps I should be more specific to lay out the differences between it and myself.  The creature and I are quite different.  One of us has graying, rough fur, while the other's fur is fluffy and bright.  ...

To Whom It May Concern: There is a dangerous creature lurking in the shadows of the house.  Its mouth cannot open and it cannot communicate without assistance. It has a certain, pungent smell to it, one which haunts those who catch a whiff of it for years to come. It has a strangely misshapen body, almost as though all of its mass is in its midriff region. It possesses no natural body strength; its arms have no muscle, nor do its legs.  Its smile is dark and unchanging. It remains constant until the one looking upon it wonders if they have lost all of their sanity to the unwavering grin of this awful menace.  It wears only a bow tie, a ribbon of blue and white. The rest of its horrifying brown body remains on display. Its fur is pressed down- almost matted- and it completely lacks any sense of style.  But most terrifying are the eyes.  The eyes are raven black. They bore into the very minds of those who look upon it. They are unblinking, ...

First of all, I Bear-Bear feel the need to clarify something. I believe this piece of information to be incredibly obvious, something that nopony should doubt AT ALL. But haters are gonna hate, so I Bear-Bear must add a disclaimer. I was NOT weak before my bulk-up. I Bear-Bear have always had a body that other osos are deeply jealous of; they wish that their muscles bulged the way that those of me Bear-Bear do; they wish that they had my toned physique; they wish that ladies flocked to them like Cheesy to her mediocre loaf Cracker the way that they flock to me Bear-Bear. I Bear-Bear have always been an Adonis, a picture of peak male form. However, the fact remains that I Bear-Bear have bulked up even more. It occurred to me Bear-Bear, while I was watching superhero movies which feature that inferior "hunkybuffman" Chris Hemsworth who the ladies so admire for some unthinkable reason, that some people may find my level of swolness... attainable.  Once this thought had ent...

It has occurred to me Bear-Bear that some of the more basic hoomans may not understand the way that I Bear-Bear speak. I have many names for the members of my household, so it could be confusing for an Outsider. Considering that I Bear-Bear am basically internet famous, I figured I should create this key to clear things up. I have translated names and phrases from my superior dialect into Normie Speak. Thank me later. La Nora/La Senora/Mrs. Bradley's Mom/Spiciest Lady- Sherry Wight El Nor/El Senor/Mr. Bradley's Father/My Competition- Adam Wight Uncle/Uncle my Hunkle/Uncle Eye-Sack- Isaac Wight Bradley/Brad/Ex-Father/Braden- Brady Wight Abigail- Abigail Wight I Bear-Bear- Me Bear-Bear My Nemesis/My Enemy/The Hated One/Wannabe- Blob My Ex-Wife/Mother of Cheesy- Little Ann My Angel/My Beloved/My Darling/My Sweetheart/The Precious One- Cheesy (my dot-her) Dot-her- Daughter Soon- Son Fat-her- Father Moth-her/Mootar- Mother Hoomans- Humans I loaf you- I ...

Uncle! Today my hunky, wonderful, loafly, divine Uncle Eye-Sack turns eleven years old!! He is a very elderly man now. Good job growing, Uncle. Thank you for always sniffing my bota when I ask you to and for letting me Bear-Bear stroke your face with my foot. I loaf you! Love, Me Bear-Bear (Your best, favorite, most amazing and attractive nephew) two spicy boys