It's Me, Bear-Bear

hey illernets. recently i bear-bear have been feeling a lot of rage towards a certain hooman in my home whose name sounds kind of like rabidsnail. so naturally i did what anybody would do and slapped her. after that i wrote this parody of "miss me more" by kelsea ballerini. please enjoy my genius as you read on. Before you I lay on the ground as Brady played video games I didn't get to play along And being left out felt so wrong I figured nothing could be worse, but now I find I stand corrected 'Cause you came 'round, stupid Because you came 'round I thought I'd be glad (to get off it) I thought I'd feel joy (to be lifted) I thought I'd missed hugs I thought I'd missed hugs But I miss the floor I miss the carpet, with its fuzzy balls I miss the floor Miss the time before you became involved I thought lying there sucked, I thought nothing was worse Than sitting there by myself, but then I met you Yeah, I thought the ground...

hola illernet. this parody was written by me bear-bear to communicate how i feel about my changing relationchip with bradley. in case it is unclear, the original song was "when i was your man" by bruno mars. now please enjoy my lyrical gift Same bed but it feels just a little bit smaller now You hold me tight in your arms but it don't feel the same When you wake up you leave me, lying there with my spirits down Because when you are awake you just say his name It all just sounds like "Chu-u-ub-bi-corn~" Oh, too young, too dumb to realize That I should cuddled you close And not complained Should have said that we were good bros Called you by your name Take you to every GameStop 'cause all you wanted to do was game Now my Brady's gaming But he's gaming with a different fave His fluff, his pinkness, his chub, and his one-word ways Brought a blob-shape-lover like you into his short arms Now I never, ever get to come on downstairs to...

woke up and found that brad had rolled over on top of me in his sleep for the third time in a row contemplated disowning him  decided to keep him for now waited for brad to wake up watched as brad left the room without me, again lay in bed and thought about the soccer mom problem  wondered where I bear-bear was going to find 109.1 extra square feet per soccer mom left brad's room exited the homestead sprinted along the streets on powerful legs got hit by a car continued to sprint along the streets on powerful legs  entered the woods at 56°45'N, 133°0'W got a call from karen found out from karen that one of the soccer moms has contracted covid-19 this is a problem because all of the soccer moms in this area report to the same workplace, where (as mentioned in my previous post) they have two square feet to themselves it takes about one day to two weeks for symptoms of covid-19 to show up while it may seem on the outside that no other soccer moms hav...

woke up and found that brad had rolled over on top of me in his sleep couldn't feel my leg because it was pinned under my neck waited for brad to wake up tried to avoid a trail of spittle coming from his mouth towards my eye failed watched brad wake up and leave the room he did not notice my spittle issue got out of the bed regained feeling in my leg through a series of brazillian-style jiu jitsu warm-ups went to abigail's room told theodore the reason everyone was staying in their houses now was because they did not want to risk the horror of running into him in public told theodore to stop crying before abigail woke up asked theodore why he can't take a joke felt disgusted by my own gene pool left abigail's room called my soccer moms at their base found out from karen about the "six feet apart" social distancing thing this is a problem because up until now each soccer mom has had four square feet of personal space when sleeping, tw...

Cheesy, Hello, my darling. As you may have guessed, it is me, Bear-Bear. Sadly, I am not contacting you with happy news. I would communicate with you privately, but for some reason you have not yet given me your email (you probably just forgot. It is okay, I forgive you). Anyways, Cheesy, I Bear-Bear have devastating news to share with you. It hurts my heart just to think about it, but I must. I know that this information will come as a shock to you- it certainly came as a shock to me- but I assure you, it is true. No matter how unbelievable it may seem, you must believe me Bear-Bear. Brace yourself, my Cheesy. Perhaps grab something to hold onto, or make sure you are sitting down. Okay, here it comes. I Bear-Bear am not your foo-tar. I know how shocking this is. I know that you have probably passed out from surprise by now. I know that you may need a moment to collect yourself and stop crying profusely before continuing to read. And that's okay. Take that moment. Now...

Brady’s mom has got it going on Brady’s mom has got it going on  Brady’s mom has got it going on Brady’s mom has got it going on Brady, I'm glad to see you back from school (Back from school) Because you see, I need info from you (Info from you)  Is your mom back from her shopping trip? (Shopping trip) Or is she hanging out, at her mother ship? (Mother ship)  You know I’m not the silly bear that I used to be  I’m way more mature now Brady, can you not see? Brady’s mom has got it going on She is super hot And I think she is the bomb Brady, can you not see? She is just so smexy I know it might be wrong but  I am in love with Brady’s mom Brady’s mom has got it going on  Brady’s mom has got it going on Brady, do you recall when I took my tie off? (Took it off) Your mama screamed and I knew she was shocked (She was shocked) I could tell she liked me from the way she stared (The way she stared) And ...

You know what I Bear-Bear think? I Bear-Bear think that we as a society don't have enough appreciation for belated things. When we hear that something will happen after the set starting time, we become upset because the thing no longer fits our specific schedes. But I think it's absolutely LITTY to have something happen late! It gives you way more time to focus on the moment- the sparkly dark eyes of the oso before you, the softness of his glossy fur, the natural inflections and cadences of his deep, attractive voice... I hope that my belated post sets a new trend for doing everything late. So that is why I Bear-Bear have chosen to make this post late: in order to let La Nora focus on her special day before being swept away by the excitement of having a blog post made by me- Bear-Bear- in her honor. I have full comprehension of how incredible I am and how all-encompassing the hype of being recognized by me Bear-Bear must be. So it's actually really polite that I Bear-Be...