False Accusations
Hola Illernet; 'tis I, His Majesty the King and Royal Highness of the Interwebs, Bear-Bear.
I Bear-Bear am posting today in an effort to address a vicious rumor that has been circling the homestead. I beg of you, if there are children in the room, do not allow them to read this so that they may be spared. What you are about to read is terrible and offensive. But I Bear-Bear must defend myself.
I BEAR-BEAR AM NOT A FURRY.
I proomise that I Bear-Bear am NOT a furry. Some personas have claimed that I Bear-Bear might have feelings towards non-hoomans, but I proomise that this is not the case. The only organisms that I Bear-Bear have ever been truly attracted to are hooman beans.
I must admit that I Bear-Bear was shocked when I first heard that some believed me to be a furry. Shocked, confused, and hurt. Why would anypony ever assume that I Bear-Bear am a furry? I Bear-Bear have never done anything to support this idea, have I? I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time and tried to find the reason, but alas, I could not. It was completely lost on me Bear-Bear, and it still is.
This is all that I Bear-Bear can do. I must fight back against these cutthroat lies in order to try to keep myself from further offense. I Bear-Bear thought that I should post on this blog so that La Nora will not be fooled by the rumors. That would be disastrous to our relation-chip. I also wish to convince El Nor that I am a non-furry. I feel that it would drive a wedge between us if he thought that I Bear-Bear was a furry.
That is all that I Bear-Bear have to say today. Goodbye, Illernet. If you take nothing else away from this post, remember this: I BEAR-BEAR AM NOT A FURRY.
I Bear-Bear am posting today in an effort to address a vicious rumor that has been circling the homestead. I beg of you, if there are children in the room, do not allow them to read this so that they may be spared. What you are about to read is terrible and offensive. But I Bear-Bear must defend myself.
I BEAR-BEAR AM NOT A FURRY.
I proomise that I Bear-Bear am NOT a furry. Some personas have claimed that I Bear-Bear might have feelings towards non-hoomans, but I proomise that this is not the case. The only organisms that I Bear-Bear have ever been truly attracted to are hooman beans.
I must admit that I Bear-Bear was shocked when I first heard that some believed me to be a furry. Shocked, confused, and hurt. Why would anypony ever assume that I Bear-Bear am a furry? I Bear-Bear have never done anything to support this idea, have I? I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time and tried to find the reason, but alas, I could not. It was completely lost on me Bear-Bear, and it still is.
This is all that I Bear-Bear can do. I must fight back against these cutthroat lies in order to try to keep myself from further offense. I Bear-Bear thought that I should post on this blog so that La Nora will not be fooled by the rumors. That would be disastrous to our relation-chip. I also wish to convince El Nor that I am a non-furry. I feel that it would drive a wedge between us if he thought that I Bear-Bear was a furry.
That is all that I Bear-Bear have to say today. Goodbye, Illernet. If you take nothing else away from this post, remember this: I BEAR-BEAR AM NOT A FURRY.
You Bear-Bear are most definitely furry.
ReplyDeleteBear-Bear, I always take your thoughts very seriously. But what about your own stories about Little Ann (mother of Cheesy) and Bottulotta Youghrmundy?
ReplyDeleteClearly you like fur. Don't be ashamed of who you are. Especially since, you know, you're an inaminate stuffed bear.