She Hit Me With Her HurryCane

I never have a good time
At family events
I get dragged into the minivan
With my mom holding me by the ear (Ow, stop it!)

I was feeling pretty mad to be there
Once we arrived
Till I heard the sound of your voice
Coming from the hallway

Then you came in with your hair in a perm
It had clearly been dyed
I was doing pretty good 'cause I saw
That you had brought mints

They looked yummy
I reached in your bag
Then you saw me
Oh no, OH NO
My live, it flashed before my eyes because
You hit me with your HurryCane
You hit me with your HurryCane

Knew it was gonna be a long night
From the moment when
Aunt Carol approached me and said
"Oh honey, you've gotten so tall!"
If I would've just stayed in my room
And not attended
Then I wouldn't be in this chair
Listening to her talk

Then you came in with your hair in a perm
It had clearly been dyed
I was doing pretty good 'cause I saw
That you had brought mints

They looked yummy
I reached in your bag
Then you saw me
Oh no, OH NO
My live, it flashed before my eyes because
You hit me with your HurryCane, ow, ow, OW
You hit me with your HurryCane

Yeah, my aunties gasped,
They were horrified, that I would try
To steal your candies from your bag
Because they believed
That I should not just take the minties
But you came in with your hair in a perm
It had clearly been dyed
I was doing pretty good 'cause I saw
That you had brought mints

They looked yummy
I reached in your bag
Then you saw me
Oh no, OH NO
My live, it flashed before my eyes because
You hit me with your HurryCane
You hit me with your HurryCane, ow, ow, OW
You hit me with your HurryCane