Look Out, Tiny Squadron
I Bear-Bear have a very troublesome issue that must be addressed immediately.
On the evening of December the 29th, 2018, I Bear-Bear issued a warning to a certain magenta-shaded, shapeless, dopey-voiced, wannabe, boring, stupid, deeply unattractive bear.
(Blob)
I warned Blob that he was encroaching upon my sacred territory and that if he did not vacate my niche posthaste, I Bear-Bear would be forced to resort to unethical means in order to rid myself of him. Unfortunately (for Blob lol destroying him was my pleasure), he did not heed my warning.
On the evening of January 5th, 2019, Blob was decimated. Destroyed. Annihilated. Obliterated. Exterminated. Liquidated. Eradicated. Eliminated. Extirpated. Crushed. Squashed. Baked. Fried. Sizzled. Kaput. Kablooied. Thanosed. And although I Bear-Bear watched as he turned to dust beneath my intimidating form, there are some who doubt me.
I am beginning to believe that they are right.
This morning, I Bear-Bear received an anonymous email from an unspecified identity. An image was attached that sounded alarms in my brilliant, bulging mind.
Watch your disturbingly threadbare back. Blob isn't so easily decimated. This war is not yet over was typed in beneath the image.
Um, first of all, excuse me Bear-Bear; these moronic balls of unicorn vomit clearly have some visionary problem because they cannot see that my back is sculpted to perfection. A truly beautiful back that fits wonderfully with my Adonis-like body.
But that is besides the point. How can this be? More Blobs? I thought there was nopony in the galaxy who loved him! And... he isn't decimated? I Bear-Bear cannot believe this. I refuse to believe this outrage!
And yet... I've been hearing things these past few days. His dimwitted voice echoes in the halls, resonating in my soul and chilling me to the very bone as it flows like ice through my veins. And sometimes, as I walk through the halls, I see a stealthy flash of offensive pink, and my very heart quakes.
Blob cannot be alive. He cannot be; I Bear-Bear decimated him. But according to his squadron, I Bear-Bear need to look out.
Of course, I Bear-Bear am completely unaffected by this childish "threat" (lol clearly this is their first rodeo I Bear-Bear have done this millions of times lololololololol). Pssh. So what if Blob has a strange militant task force, seemingly made up of clones of himself (lowkey weird but I mean okay do what you gotta do)? I Bear-Bear can and will decimate them, just as I decimated him.
It is Blob who needs to watch his back.
On the evening of December the 29th, 2018, I Bear-Bear issued a warning to a certain magenta-shaded, shapeless, dopey-voiced, wannabe, boring, stupid, deeply unattractive bear.
(Blob)
I warned Blob that he was encroaching upon my sacred territory and that if he did not vacate my niche posthaste, I Bear-Bear would be forced to resort to unethical means in order to rid myself of him. Unfortunately (for Blob lol destroying him was my pleasure), he did not heed my warning.
On the evening of January 5th, 2019, Blob was decimated. Destroyed. Annihilated. Obliterated. Exterminated. Liquidated. Eradicated. Eliminated. Extirpated. Crushed. Squashed. Baked. Fried. Sizzled. Kaput. Kablooied. Thanosed. And although I Bear-Bear watched as he turned to dust beneath my intimidating form, there are some who doubt me.
I am beginning to believe that they are right.
This morning, I Bear-Bear received an anonymous email from an unspecified identity. An image was attached that sounded alarms in my brilliant, bulging mind.
Watch your disturbingly threadbare back. Blob isn't so easily decimated. This war is not yet over was typed in beneath the image.
Um, first of all, excuse me Bear-Bear; these moronic balls of unicorn vomit clearly have some visionary problem because they cannot see that my back is sculpted to perfection. A truly beautiful back that fits wonderfully with my Adonis-like body.
But that is besides the point. How can this be? More Blobs? I thought there was nopony in the galaxy who loved him! And... he isn't decimated? I Bear-Bear cannot believe this. I refuse to believe this outrage!
And yet... I've been hearing things these past few days. His dimwitted voice echoes in the halls, resonating in my soul and chilling me to the very bone as it flows like ice through my veins. And sometimes, as I walk through the halls, I see a stealthy flash of offensive pink, and my very heart quakes.
Blob cannot be alive. He cannot be; I Bear-Bear decimated him. But according to his squadron, I Bear-Bear need to look out.
Of course, I Bear-Bear am completely unaffected by this childish "threat" (lol clearly this is their first rodeo I Bear-Bear have done this millions of times lololololololol). Pssh. So what if Blob has a strange militant task force, seemingly made up of clones of himself (lowkey weird but I mean okay do what you gotta do)? I Bear-Bear can and will decimate them, just as I decimated him.
It is Blob who needs to watch his back.
Bear-bear,
ReplyDeleteLast night, we watched The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part. I think you could benefit from watching this movie.
You see, there were some new people who had tried to reach out to the original characters from the first movie. And the characters in the first movie thought that these new people were bent on destroying them. They saw their behavior as aggressive and threatening.
But it turned out that they were just trying to play together. Maybe Blob is just trying to play with you and you're misinterpreting it. I can't imagine how someone like you--with an obviously solid grasp on reality--would misinterpret something. But I think that's what's going on.
Try to be nice to Blob. The rest of us think he's very friendly.
El Nor