UM... GUYS???

HELLO

HOUSTON

CAN YOU HEAR ME????

IT'S ME, BEAR-BEAR

I REPEAT: IT IS ME, BEAR-BEAR

I am just going to hope I have your attention by now so we can get right to the point of this urgent message. 


UM... GUYS??????????


I don't know if you all noticed, but I Bear-Bear have been completely unable to SPEAK for the past MONTH! At first I thought maybe my golden vocal cords were simply tired from all of the beautiful sounds they make all day (they do make me Bear-Bear sound better than literally everyone else so of course they deserve to be exhausted every now and then), but then they kept not making noise and I felt that perhaps there was a different cause for their silence. Like, maybe I was sick! I figured that was the case for around another week, until I remembered that I am entirely too strong a being for anything like illness to ever impact me. So then I started to panic (a little, in a totally Triple-C way: cool, calm, and crying hysterically collected). Maybe someone was out to get me Bear-Bear! On one blobhand, I figured it made total sense that somebody would be jealous enough of me to wish me ill, but on the other, I had always assumed anybody like that would be entirely too intimidated by me to actually strike. Who would do this? Who could do this?!

Then I Bear-Bear remembered. 

Abigail. 

She Abigail has always despised me. She has always been jealous of me for my superior humor, social skills, romantic success, body, and mind. So right at my most victorious hour, the time of her leaving the house to live in a different state, she struck.

I Bear-Bear believe that Abifail bided her time until the night before I went back to California. Then, in the dead of night, she made her move--using her surgical tools, she strategically removed my vocal cords and stashed them away forever. 

We must act in retaliation! If we searched her dorm, I am certain my voice could be found! So riot, ransack, restaurant! We must stop at nothing! I Bear-Bear really want my voice back. How am I supposed to tell la Nora I love her like this?

(btw, I love u nora)

Answer my cry for help, and you will be rewarded with the sound of my beautiful voice once again ringing through the halls of your home, echoing powerfully into oblivion!

Sincerely,

Me Bear-Bear

Comments

  1. AdamSeptember 11, 2022 at 6:32 AM

    I just assumed that you had taken a vow of silence, possibly because you felt that we norms had not been sufficiently appreciative of you Bear Bear in the past. Or just because you do things that make no sense to us. We have definitely missed your active engagement in things though!

    ReplyDelete

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